It’s hard to make sarcasm come across in a post title, so I’d like to assure you that the above title is as sarcastic as possible. PC gamers, low on reasons to completely lose their shit, have taken the delay of the Left 4 Dead 2 demo for pre-order customers a little hard.
The Left 4 Dead 2 demo was originally scheduled to unlock yesterday for gamers who pre-orderd Left 4 Dead 2, but due to “bugs” in the pc version, the demo only launched for the Xbox 360 audience. Some would say that this is the first time someone with an Xbox 360 got a better deal than someone with a PC.
PC gamers are known for their calm, almost zen-like attitude to unforeseen game delays. So it was quite unexpected when droves of steam users hit the Internet like girls who couldn’t get into a sold out Hanna Montana concert. Thankfully, Steam doesn’t have a parking lot or it’d be full of torn Left 4 Dead shirts and used tampons.
I was pretty surprised by the actions of my fellow PC gamers. Ok, I wasn’t surprised, but that sounds better than “I’m never surprised by the screechy whines of entitlement sloshing out of the PC gaming community’s collective fuck-faucet.” What makes this situation even more incredible is that all this chaos, all the “FUCK YOU GABE NEWELL YOU CHEESECAKE MOLESTING FUCK” comments, all the threats of game cancellation are based on the delay of a FUCKING GAME DEMO.
IT’S A DEMO. This situation is like ordering a Tempur-pedic bed, and then flipping the fuck out because the Tempur-pedic company has some technical difficulties regarding the shipment of your free foam sample.
“I WAS GOING TO MAKE A BED FOR MY HAMSTER OUT OF THAT SAMPLE.”
“WHERE IS MY GREAT GRANDMOM’S TINY GHOST SUPPOSED TO SLEEP??!? ON THE FLOOR?!?! FUCK YOU, TEMPUR-PEDIC!”
Sure, it sucks that the demo had some bugs and was delayed. But this is the reason people pre-ordered Left 4 Dead 2? For the demo? Let’s get some perspective here.
To see this situation first-hand, visit the Steam forum for Left 4 Dead 2. The forum is a hilarious mash of people enraged that their parents’ credit cards were used for something that wasn’t delivered as promised. You can almost see the droplets of sweat on their tiny brows as their fresh, silken hands navigate around keyboards that are as new to them as masturbation.
That last part wasn’t sarcasm.
