Possibly Naked Model Might Play World of Warcraft

December 7, 2009
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Blizzard should send this Adrianne Curry lady something nice in return for all the free advertising she just gave World of Warcraft. It’s statistically proven that each time a female person claims that she plays a specific video game, the sales and/or membership for that video game go up about two thousand percent. Since Adrianne [...]

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Rebellion Gives the Australian Classification Board the Straight Talk

December 4, 2009
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When I was younger, I always dreamed of traveling to Australia to take in the beautiful scenery, dangerous wildlife, and excellent accent. But that was before I realized that the Australian public isn’t allowed to have fun video games. What would I do with my down time in Australia? Read? Knit? Scrapbook? Read about how [...]

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This Archie Riverdale Run Game Looks as Bad as it Sounds

December 2, 2009
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Finally, an Archie video game. I was starting to lose hope that I would never have the opportunity to play a game that involves running around and collecting objects floating in hearts. At least the developers are being faithful to the source material — if anyone ever thought that walking over heart bubbles was a [...]

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The Dante’s Inferno Demo Loves the PS3 the Most

December 1, 2009
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That’s right, Xbox 360 users. The Dante’s Inferno demo hits the PlayStation 3 two whole weeks before it hits the Xbox 360. I think this means that the Xbox 360 is the inferior console. Personally, I need a console that gives me first access to the hottest new video game demos. How am I supposed [...]

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Playing Tic-Tac-Toe with your Brain is Expensive

November 30, 2009
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It’s official — the future is here. This means the robots are one step closer to forcing me to sweep the floors of their micro-chip mansions. I’m going to do such a shitty job. Just wait.
Thanks to the pioneers at Jedi Mind Inc, we’ll soon be able to play Tic-Tac-Toe with our MINDS. Since humans [...]

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Japanese Man Totally Married his Love Plus Girlfriend

November 25, 2009
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Look. I don’t judge people. However, this doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be able to perform my duties as a highly paid judge on any number of competitive television programs (call me). When I heard that a Japanese man was planning on marrying his virtual girlfriend from the Nintendo DS game Love Plus, I didn’t automatically [...]

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Left 16 Dead is too Much

November 23, 2009
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I usually hate it when people mess with a game’s settings in order to add more people. This situation with Left 4 Dead 2 is no exception. Someone hacked the game to allow 16 people to play a cooperative campaign. The results are predictable. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much friendly fire in [...]

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EA Wants You to Send Everything to Hell

November 23, 2009
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The marketing campaign for Dante’s Inferno has been hit or miss. Do you remember when EA pissed off the entire Internet when they encouraged gamers to molest booth babes? That stunt was morally irresponsible and could have led to time in prison for hordes of sex-crazed nerds. But then EA sent a bunch of journalists [...]

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Guy Shows Lionhead Studio Love with Tattoos

November 19, 2009
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I‘d really have to love a video game studio to get its logo tattooed on my body. The only studio that comes close is Valve, but the Valve logo wouldn’t make a great tattoo. I guess I could just get a big V, but people might get the wrong idea if they see the Richard [...]

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How would Left 4 Dead look on the NES?

November 18, 2009
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I‘ve already burned a lot of electricity this week playing the PC version of Left 4 Dead 2. On the plus side, the heat exhaust from my computer keeps my office pretty warm. If I was more like that guy Alton Brown from that show Good Eats, I’d figure out a way to use [...]

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