twilight video game

Anyone Else Sad About the Lack of Twilight Video Games?

by Bryan Sharp on March 19, 2010

I‘m a big fan of the Twilight films. It’s not often that I’m moved to tears while staring at the abdominal muscles of young men. Usually, the young men are the ones crying, especially after I utter my catch-phrase “I bet I can fit my whole mustache inside your belly button.”

So I’m pretty sad that no one has developed a Twilight video game. The market for people who want to turn into a vampire and then fall in love is gigantic. And I hear that a lot of girls find the Twilight movies “romantic,” a word that might make sense to me if I was more learned in Twilight lore.

According to Games Investor Consulting analyst Nick Gibson, “Twilight could easily present a seven-figure exploitation opportunity, especially if publishers look at taking it beyond retail gaming and considers network gaming.” It’s safe to assume that immediately after Nick Gibson said this to MCV, Bobby Kotick, his tarantula-sense picking up on the words “seven-figure”, “exploitation”, “publishers”, and “gaming” used in succession, sliced a hole in the wall with the corner of his checkbook and burst into the room.

By “network gaming”, I assume that Nick Gibson is talking about digital distribution. Or maybe he’s talking about a multiplayer Twilight game. In that game, based on your definition of “winning”, whoever kisses that awkward human girl or snaps the game in half first wins.

Nick Gibson suggests that a Twilight game would be most at home on the Wii or DS.  I’m sure he realizes that the moment the word “twilight” enters a game’s title, no one used to shooting people in the face is interested. Actually, a game titled Shoot the Cast of Twilight in the Face could move a lot of units on the PS3, Xbox 360, PC, iPhone, Mac, Android, Wii, DS, SNES, NES, Sega CD, NGage, and Linux.

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