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The Internet is flooded with hundreds of millions of thousands of video game comedy blogs, so you may be asking yourself, “why should I read gamebane?”

I’ll tell you why. Those other video game humor blogs get their information from computers via digital transmissions. Computers are robots; they can’t be trusted. These “digital transmissions” are their cold, tinfoil-tasting currency they use to buy our souls. I don’t know about you, but my hands are too delicate for a future spent slaving away in the robots’ phosphorus fields.

I get all my information from people on the street, people like you and me. Here. Look.

Me: “Hello, little girl. What do you think about the new Zelda game?”

I used “Zelda game” to make sure this page is future-proof. I figure there’ll always be a Zelda game in some stage of development.

Little Girl: “Why’s your mustache so sweaty?”

Check out that Journalism mastery. The student-loan money didn’t just pay for bets on horse-racing.

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